LA LIBERA ESPRESSIONE SESSUALE DELLA DONNA NELLA COPPIA; IMPRESSIONI DI UN PROSSIMO QUARANT’ENNE.

LA LIBERA ESPRESSIONE SESSUALE DELLA DONNA NELLA COPPIA;

IMPRESSIONI DI UN PROSSIMO QUARANT’ENNE.

Ancora oggi, nonostante le apparenze, la sessualità non viene agita liberamente dalla donna nella vita di coppia ma è regolata dal luogo dove vive, dalle credenze religiose, culturali e sociali.libera espressione sessuale della donna nella coppia

I fattori appena citati, esercitano una pressione enorme sulla sessualità della donna, proponendo modelli e devianze che vengono tollerate e propagandate.

Come si deve comportare una religiosa? Cosa fa una donna/mamma a letto? Cosa non può fare una moglie? Cosa pensa di me il mio vicino se sente voci e rumori attraverso le mura di casa? Cosa molto più grave: Cosa pensa di me mio marito (o compagno) se “chiedo” qualcosa che lui non ha mai proposto?

Questione di evoluzione, di religione, di moralità o cosa altro?

Intanto mi permetto di affermare che la sessualità di coppia ha anche l’importante ruolo di preservare distrazioni esterne dei congiunti nella sfera sessuale. Detto questo ho risposto già a diversi quesiti pre-posti. Il fatto di provare piacere fisico con la propria donna ci aiuta a sentirci ancora più legati ad essa. Orbene, perché porsi quei limiti sociali testè citati?

Da curioso follower della scienza del corpo, posso intimamente affermare che, sul piano fisico, la gratificazione sessuale, libera delle sostanze chiamate endorfine, che procurano benessere e gioia, nonché l’ossitocina, volgarmente chiamata “l’ormone dell’amore”.

La scintilla che innesca il desiderio sessuale, la produzione di dette sostanze, deve scoccare all’interno della relazione di coppia. Il talamo deve esprimere la pulizia da pensieri di peccato. Qualsiasi pratica o modus non deve essere intesa come “peccato” purché consumata nel reciproco consenso e libertà.

Tutto deve essere libera espressione, non esiste un codice di ciò che è lecito o illecito nell’ambito della sessualità di coppia.  Bisogna evitare che un partner prevalga sull’altro, imponendogli una sessualità egocentrica che non rispetta la sua dignità e non è un’espressione d’amore.

Il coniuge non è uno strumento per sfogare la propria libidine, ma è una persona con la quale si condivide il sentiero della vita. Esternare pregiudizi, seppur verbali al proprio partner potrebbe significare spingere l’altro al tradimento. Non sto  affermando che bisogna esser accondiscendenti per non essere traditi, bisogna saper ascoltare senza giudicare.

Salvo i casi patologici, credo che una donna messa al proprio agio, senza l’oppressione della scure del giudizio, non tradirebbe il proprio partner per soddisfare desideri che sente “bocciati” dalla di lui moralità.

Sono testimone di donne apparentemente candide e riluttanti anche agli sguardi dei passanti che, lontane dagli occhi dei propri limitanti partner, liberano le proprie fantasie sessuali per diventare delle vere e proprie insaziabili “macchine di passione”, donne che purtroppo si trovano a confessare: “al mio compagno non oso chiederlo, ma vorrei…….”. Ditemi se queste non rientrano fra le limitazioni socio-culturali di cui parlavo in testa alla testimonianza.

Se non c’è libera scelta e libertà di espressione c’è violenza.

Violenza è intesa anche il comportamento del proprio partner che chiede alla propria donna “se tu mi volessi bene faresti questo per me”: questo ricatto è pura violenza psicologica.

In definitiva, credo che non dovremmo preoccuparci solo di conoscere quali sono i limiti entro i quali sviluppare la sessualità di coppia, non dovremmo affannarci per sapere se certe cose sono permesse oppure no; Dovremmo piuttosto ascoltare l’altro, impegnandoci per dimostrare amore, premura, cura, tenerezza, aiuto, rispetto, comprensione e sostegno. È su questo terreno che deve costruirsi l’intimità sessuale.

il 21 ott 2016

Fabio “Guerriero”

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